Politics of Sex... Revisted

While eating lunch with a friend today, we had an interesting conversation on the politics of sex. This post is more of an attempt to spark and promote curiosity and questioning rather than providing answers.

I think that it is undeniable that sex, especially in America, has become extremely commodified and hyper-fetishized. Consequences include increased objectification of the human body as an entity from which one could derive pleasure. With upwards of 10% of Americans identified as sex addicts,

Sex has interestingly been used as a tool to perpetuate forms of oppression, such as patriarchy and racism. What I am particularly interested in is if sex is also a tool which attacks social relationships between people - especially romantic relationships.

According to my friend, it seems that unlike most other regions in the world, American romantic relationships are heavily based on the premise of sexual relations. So the question is, how does one know that the relationship one is in is based on mutual love and affection as opposed to physical lust?

The only way to really find out is to see if eliminating sexual relations from the relationship destroys the relationship or not. In my case, it was unwillingly done because of geographic distance (long-distance relationship). Another way would be to be in a sexually open relationship. If the crux of the relationship is not sex, then it would follow that the relationship wouldn't suffer if it were sexually open.

At the same time, however, the previous statements are overly simplistic because sex can be regarded as forms of building trust or intimacy. It is important, however, to question even these assumptions because of the way we treat sex. What does it mean to be intimate? Can intimacy be expressed in other ways other than sex? Is sex intimate?

To me it seems like it's based on personal perspective. Sex can be viewed as an intimate matter, depending on the goal. If your goal is physical pleasure, then it doesn't have to be intimate, but if your goal is to give yourself intimately to someone, then it has the possibility of becoming intimate.

But once again, the main question is, how does one know that one's relationship isn't based purely on sex, and given the nature of sex in this country, is sex a tool of oppression?

I think Americans spend a lot of time thinking about sex or ideas related to sex because we've been arguably hypersexualized (given the nature of advertisements and such), so is sex a drug? The basis of drugs and sex can be seen as being very similar - physical pleasure. There is a considerable amount of money that one has to spend on sex, just like drugs. If we assume that you're not going out and looking to spend time with a sex-worker, think of the 'orthodox' courting rituals. Dressing up to look sexy. That costs money. According to popular media, a good place to go are bars, which cost money. Alcohol costs money. Looking sexy could cost money in the form of possibly gym memberships or exercise equipment. The pharmaceutical industry also has a stake with products such as Viagra or Cialis.

Both sex and drugs can be argued as ways to keep the masses down and out. There are more identified sex addicts in this country than cocaine and heroin addicts. Sexual addiction is defined as conditions in which individuals spend a detrimental amount of time dedicated to sex, in which relationships and personal well-being begin to deteriorate.

Sex is obviously no longer just about procreation. The role of sex is increasingly recreational in today's society. So I guess the question becomes, is it okay to feel good?

I think so. But to what end? How much effort in one's sex life is too much? Fuck if I know.

I'm not sure what my conclusion is. Is sex bad? I think sex could be seen as mutual aid... but I could also see how sex is keeping us down. Is moderation the key?

I guess the main questions for me is whether or not my relationship is premised on sex, and if so, is that a good or bad thing. Furthermore, is sex, in the context of today, a mechanism that perpetuates capitalism and more specific forms of oppression?

Main Questions:
1) Are relationships (mine included) premised on sex, and if so, is it a bad or a good thing? Or neither? What does it mean if one's relationship is premised on sex in terms of relating to institutions of oppression?

2) Is sex, especially in today's society, a mechanism that perpetuates capitalism and more specific forms of oppression (racism, sexism)?

3) How does sex affect a person's relationship with others around them? Does sex play a huge role in how we treat others? If so, what are some of the impacts (objectification?)?