Serve the Individual Well-being Program

Perhaps one of the greatest challenges in trying reevaluate power dynamics while advocating for a radical redistribution of privilege within a capitalist society is to maintain a balance between individual well-being and collective welfare.

In a society where rugged individualism is revered, it is easy for anti-capitalists to become reactionary - placing the collective, or 'good of the people' above individual interests. This highlights a profound lack of understanding of collective theory among the Left which is both historical and contemporary.

Historically, communist and socialist experiments, such as Cuba, USSR, Socialist Republic of Việt Nam, have failed to materialize either theories effectively, and have either crumbled or withered away into State Capitalism.

In more recent events, we see a shift from grassroots to the non-profit industrial complex, a system and institution which is inherently un-democratic, let alone consensus based. You cannot preach about social equity while failing to practice equity in your organization. It is crucial to realize that it is not a dichotomy of either focusing on the means or the ends, but rather, one must synthesize the means into the ends. In other words, you must see your means as also your ends.

Consensus based practice, in theory, focuses on addressing the issue of balancing individual welfare in a collective situation.

Why do I bring this up?

I have realized a personal tendency to place more emphasis on collective relationships while ignoring my own personal needs and wants. As Dorothy (for those who don't know, she is my girlfriend) has pointed out that when I express my needs or wants, it is usually in the context of a collective relationship, and not individual.

I recognize that this is not only detrimental to myself, but also to all collective relationships in which I participate. In an effort to take action and change this, I have decided that one measure to take is to list out individual likes/desires/wants on a regular basis. I suppose I'll call this the 'Serve the Individual Well-Being Program'. (I like writing things down so I can come back later and ponder - I suppose this could be an attempt to map out my personhood?)

Along the way, I will try to further analyze martyrdom of the individual that is prevalent in collective situations as well as how to promote the growth of individuals within collective relationships without being detrimental to the collective as a whole.

So the first list of my likes/desires/wants:
1) I like Marvin Gaye, especially the song 'Sexual Healing'. I listened to it on repeat this morning when I opened at the Food Co-op.

2) I like to sing when no one is around.

3) I like to dance when no one is around.

(I guess I'm shy?)

4) I want to be comfortable/confident enough to be able to sing and dance in public? Maybe?

Okay, that's it for today. Nap time.